truth

It’s Not Me, It’s You.

A lot of the time I think we put the blame onto others when we have problems. I mean look at our relationships- things don’t work out, people leave, or stop being who they were and maybe they become who they are, either way it doesn’t matter. Because it doesn’t always work out. We hear that line so often “it’s not you, it’s me” or “it wouldn’t matter if you were any other girl in the world, it’s just not the right time”. All of this is bullshit. It’s just a common courtesy so that we can feel better about ourselves for not wanting the same things. And all those times that we think we know what’s going on between ourselves and those we crave- we’re wrong. We spend some much time criticizing ourselves for whatever the fuck we did wrong- but we didn’t. I’ve come to the realization that maybe they don’t feel the way I want them to feel about me, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me- but rather there’s something wrong with the way I let them feel about me. No one can make me feel inferior or feel like I’m not enough to captivate their attention. If someone is going to want us, desire us or love us, it should be painstakingly evident. They should yearn for us, not every moment of every day- or maybe they should, either way I think it should be clear to both parties what exactly is going on. Do you ever wonder if you’re just not good ‘enough’ for that person in their mind? Maybe you’re right in the account that you shouldn’t be together- but the problem doesn’t lie with faults of your own, the crux of the matter is that you haven’t correctly identified what it is you need in a significant other. I have allowed myself to be loved by people who didn’t have any concern for my well being, I’ve been loved by someone who believed I was the best person in their world- there’s so many different kinds of love, and all of us carry a different brand. I for instance have the kind where I throw myself in with both feet, and this doesn’t always end well for me. I tend to get my heart broken and be viciously under-appreciated but I’ve decided that is just who I am. It’s not you, it’s me- and it’s me that deserves to have someone want me just as much as I want them.