Month: January 2014

Hello 2014

I think it’s safe to say that it’s been a while friends.. I apologize for that. Not only do I apologize to you, but also to myself. I have a lot of pent up thoughts and I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t felt this way in a while- and that’s when it hit me. 
2013 was a fantastic year for me, I graduated with honours from university and got accepted into the teacher’s college of my choice. I found the love of my life and have already had so many good memories with the knowledge that there is so much more in store for us. Not only was 2013 a great year, but it was also a hard year family-wise.
It’s been hardest on my mother and probably even my brother but in October I watched the father I had known for over 3/4 of my life walk out on my family without even looking back. It’s hard knowing that there was something out there more important for him to search for when everything I thought he loved was at home with us. However, I am an adult- I understand that it is important to find happiness even if it is at another’s personal loss. Therefore I am happy that he is searching for his absolute happiness, yet I perceive his leaving as a personal insult no matter which way I look at it. I don’t say this looking for pity, or a pat on the back from friends or strangers but it is much easier to face these feelings in written word rather than spoken. 
I’ve always felt it is easiest to assert my feelings pen upon paper or fingers against a keyboard and already I’m finding solace in this posting. My belief is that no matter how you look at a personal circumstance, there will be a silver lining- not to say that it happened for a reason. I understand people’s want to believe that things happen for according reasons- but I just don’t buy it. Things happen at a moment’s notice- a touch, a glance between strangers is all that is needed to send the future reeling. I believe in choice. I think that you, yourself are the proponent of your future and that what you decide to do is what ultimately brings around your circumstances. I could make a decision I think will benefit me and it actually brings around a negative situation. That is life I think. I’m only 22 and I realize I don’t know a lot about the world. But if there is something I have learned in my short time on Earth is that people are the master’s of their own fate.. and that love is difficult. I’ve seen more failures in relationships than successes but I the way I look at it is I’ve been given more of a blessing than a curse. I could look at all the failures as a precedent for how my life will turn out, or I can take all the mistakes I’ve viewed and use them as safeguards in my own personal relationships. I know what it takes to ruin a relationship and I’ve seen the work that needs to go into one. 
2013 showed me who is important in my life, and who is there for me when I need them but most importantly who isn’t going to be there. I know that people grow and change, friends get forgotten and families struggle but I know who will be there when I fall. And I am very, very thankful for those who have helped pick me back up last year. 
So I say hello, 2014 because this year is sure to bring me struggles but after a year of ups and downs, I know exactly how to be prepared and who will stand next to me to help with the downfalls. Image

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