Month: February 2013

Valentines- A Little Late

What a sweet, sweet day. As a fellow single lady- you’d think I was being sarcastic. And yet I am completely serious. As I was walking around campus today I was surrounded by people who were head over heels in love, curiously seeking some sort of love or purposely denying the prospect of it. Either way, a day dedicated to love in such a world as we live in, is a pretty good thing in my books. Over thinking can be the death of you- take it from me, a girl who is perpetually scribbling thoughts on any kind of surface- just so I can sort out what’s going on in my head. Who’s to say that Valentine’s day is a bad day, yes there are millions of companies capitalizing on our own stupidity for buying extravagant gifts for those we care about, but how is that any different from Christmas, or Easter. People assume that you can only be happy on Valentines day if you’re in a relationship, on the verge of one or if you’re the girl who says “I don’t care, I’m happy being single because Valentines Day is a hoax”. These boundaries we create are unnecessary, I can be happy today because it’s a Thursday, I’m one day away from spending the weekend with my best friends, I’m hours away from attending a Yule Ball- which in my opinion is one of the coolest things I could do with my time. Optimists look at Valentines as a day to give or receive things, chocolates, candy, flowers- and pessimists look at it as another reminder of what they don’t have. Why must we be either? I’d like to consider myself an opportunist, because I’m going to make today as special as any other day. I’m a happy woman and I can make the best of any day, and an entire day dedicated to be loving towards each other is a definite benefit to mankind. Instead of dwelling on the astounding gifts you’re giving or receiving, on the fact that you may be perpetually alone, momentarily alone or opting to be alone- think of it as a day to practice humanity. Practice being human again, there’s not enough humanity left in our world, not enough real emotions and real people. If we all enthusiastically loved as hard as we try to do on this one day of the year, think of the love we could create- it would be incredible. And the day that this happens, will be a day when humanity becomes whole again and not broken off into categories of loved, unloved or loved and lost. Let’s love as much as we either try to do or try to deny on Valentines day, every day of the year and maybe then we can remember what the true point of this day and more importantly every day, is about. Happy Thursday humanity.


It’s Not Me, It’s You.

A lot of the time I think we put the blame onto others when we have problems. I mean look at our relationships- things don’t work out, people leave, or stop being who they were and maybe they become who they are, either way it doesn’t matter. Because it doesn’t always work out. We hear that line so often “it’s not you, it’s me” or “it wouldn’t matter if you were any other girl in the world, it’s just not the right time”. All of this is bullshit. It’s just a common courtesy so that we can feel better about ourselves for not wanting the same things. And all those times that we think we know what’s going on between ourselves and those we crave- we’re wrong. We spend some much time criticizing ourselves for whatever the fuck we did wrong- but we didn’t. I’ve come to the realization that maybe they don’t feel the way I want them to feel about me, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me- but rather there’s something wrong with the way I let them feel about me. No one can make me feel inferior or feel like I’m not enough to captivate their attention. If someone is going to want us, desire us or love us, it should be painstakingly evident. They should yearn for us, not every moment of every day- or maybe they should, either way I think it should be clear to both parties what exactly is going on. Do you ever wonder if you’re just not good ‘enough’ for that person in their mind? Maybe you’re right in the account that you shouldn’t be together- but the problem doesn’t lie with faults of your own, the crux of the matter is that you haven’t correctly identified what it is you need in a significant other. I have allowed myself to be loved by people who didn’t have any concern for my well being, I’ve been loved by someone who believed I was the best person in their world- there’s so many different kinds of love, and all of us carry a different brand. I for instance have the kind where I throw myself in with both feet, and this doesn’t always end well for me. I tend to get my heart broken and be viciously under-appreciated but I’ve decided that is just who I am. It’s not you, it’s me- and it’s me that deserves to have someone want me just as much as I want them.