A Reason for Being Here…

“Im the master of my own fate; I am the captain of my own soul”- William Ernest Henley
I want to be the author of my own story and I want to create a world that I can live in happily. For a long time I thought I was living in that type of place but this summer I did a lot of thinking on what it means to be happy. I found myself with more questions than answers: Are there rules to being happy, necessities maybe? Does being happy mean you’re constantly smiling? Or does it mean I wake up every day thankful to be alive? Is it the presence of people constantly around? To be wealthy? To be in love? There are many questions that deal with the matter of happiness, so much I don’t think I could list them without being an incredible bore but my conclusion is that in my short twenty-one years here I have no been able to pinpoint the recipe for happiness. Someone once told me that to be happy means that you don’t question your life, your friends or your decisions and this seems to be the crux of the matter because I question everything, twice. Does this make me despondent or realistic? I would consider myself more of a glass half full type of person but more often I find myself questioning the glass itself. Who determines that we must be either or? Can I not be both happy and sad at the same time without being scrutinized, can I manage to manoeuvre myself in this busy world while not being completely in one mindset or another? I have a lot of questions. I have a lot of thoughts and I had the notion that this might be the best place to answer them.. Perhaps I’ll be answering myself. Or maybe one day I’ll just know what the answer is. The world isn’t black or white.. I supppse that means I don’t have to be either happy or sad. I can just be myself in a world that’s not quite mine- yet.

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